I consider myself somewhat of a Night Owl now, but when I was a kid I was an Early Bird. I would kind of pass out around 8:30 or 9 PM, and then wake up at 4. Usually my parents refused to get up, which was lame, so I’d watch movies or read a book downstairs by myself. Usually read a book because I didn’t have that many movies, but the ones I did have I remember pretty vividly.
“The Lion King” was my favorite for ages, and I would roll around on the floor pretending to be a lion, or pose dramatically on the couch. God help my poor cat if he ever ambled by, because he would instantly be snatched up and hoisted into the air, as THE NEW PRINCE OF PRIDE ROCK or whatever. And when Mufasa died it would totally tear me up, I cannot even explain to you.
“Toy Story” was a big deal, too. The computer animation enthralled me, and that part when Woody finds Buzz depressed and dressed as a doll by that evil kid’s sister cracked me up EVERY TIME. “I’M MRS. NESBIT NOW.” It was not a helpful movie for packrats like me, I can tell you that. I even worried about throwing away Happy Meal toys after watching it.
If I was feeling daring, it was “The Great Mouse Detective,” which I loved but also scared the crap out of me, especially that part where they’re creeping around in the toy store (I think it was a toy store?). THAT FREAKING JACK-IN-THE-BOX AND THE PEG-LEGGED BAT, OH MY GOD. Were the toys alive? I vaguely remember that maybe they were alive, oh man. And the end battle, OH GOD DON’T DIEEEEEEEE BASILLLLLLLL WHO WILL SOLVE CRIME IF YOU DO HELP HIM DAWSON YOU FAT INCOMPETENT FOOL. SO STRESSFUL but also SO FIERCE I don’t even know.
I also liked “Fly Away Home,” because I liked to imagine being the leader of geese. We have a lot of Canada geese that live around our pond, so I guess I connected to that.
ALSO "ROCK-A-DOODLE" AND "SCAMPER THE PENGUIN" HOW COULD I FORGET THOSE THEY WERE ALSO MY FAVORITES.
Man, now that I’m thinking about it I had a lot of weird movies, who even gave them to me? I don’t even remember. I have got to get focused on school, and stop daydreaming about movies and books and other things I'd RATHER be doing.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
A Book Friend
For most of my life, I've only really had a few really close friends with which I share pretty much everything. That's still the case in college, but I've also become more receptive to having more casual friends, with whom I share a few interests in common. I have a friend who has almost the same taste in music as me (handy for recs), a friend whose library I'm pretty sure is being slowly absorbed into mine, and vice versa, a friend I watch sci-fi things with, and others. These friends are loads of fun, but I tend not to keep up with them very well since they usually don't fit into my daily schedule. (they don't work with me, share classes, that sort of thing).
I was watching the recent movie adaptation of "Sherlock Holmes," when I suddenly remembered a commmon(ish) interest friend I had in sixth grade. He was a book friend.
I read a lot, all of the time, in sixth grade because I was new and didn't know how to act around people I didn't know. The teacher put the desks in little groups of four, and John and I were in a group of three, because there was an odd number, with another boy who mostly just slept. John was a nice guy, and I can't remember a whole lot about him other than the fact that he was in love with the "Sherlock Holmes" series around the time I was in love with those James Herriot "All Creatures Great and Small" series. (I was all about long, involved books when I was a kid, especially series) In break times during class, he would explain why Sherlock Holmes was totally the best ever and I would roll my eyes and tease him about it, and he would shake his head mournfully. Occasionally we would swap books, but he would NOT like the gory details of being a vet, and I would get frustrated by the mysteries and lose interest.
"LOOK. CAITLIN. SHERLOCK HOLMES IS THE BEST EVER AND CAN DO ANYTHING AND IS A LOT BETTER THAN YOUR GUY, WHO SPENDS WAY TOO MUCH TIME AROUND HORSE INNARDS."
I wonder what he thought of the recent movie, if he saw it.
It was good times in an otherwise really awful and awkward stage of my life. And in seventh grade we were put in different teachers' classes, so we didn't really ever talk again.
I was watching the recent movie adaptation of "Sherlock Holmes," when I suddenly remembered a commmon(ish) interest friend I had in sixth grade. He was a book friend.
I read a lot, all of the time, in sixth grade because I was new and didn't know how to act around people I didn't know. The teacher put the desks in little groups of four, and John and I were in a group of three, because there was an odd number, with another boy who mostly just slept. John was a nice guy, and I can't remember a whole lot about him other than the fact that he was in love with the "Sherlock Holmes" series around the time I was in love with those James Herriot "All Creatures Great and Small" series. (I was all about long, involved books when I was a kid, especially series) In break times during class, he would explain why Sherlock Holmes was totally the best ever and I would roll my eyes and tease him about it, and he would shake his head mournfully. Occasionally we would swap books, but he would NOT like the gory details of being a vet, and I would get frustrated by the mysteries and lose interest.
"LOOK. CAITLIN. SHERLOCK HOLMES IS THE BEST EVER AND CAN DO ANYTHING AND IS A LOT BETTER THAN YOUR GUY, WHO SPENDS WAY TOO MUCH TIME AROUND HORSE INNARDS."
I wonder what he thought of the recent movie, if he saw it.
It was good times in an otherwise really awful and awkward stage of my life. And in seventh grade we were put in different teachers' classes, so we didn't really ever talk again.
Monday, March 15, 2010
Projects
I've never really had lots of personal projects in my life. Or, maybe I should explain; I don't really make big projects for myself. I tend to have little goals scattered around that never seem to get quite finished, so they little my brain and worry me at night with their un-finished-ness.
This blog is one such project. I've also got letters to write to people (thank you and how are you doing), a mix CD to finish, and a thorough Spring Cleaning of my room to do. And several books to read. And maybe some form of writing that isn't in a journal. And have some form of a Christian life.
I don't know. I hate having loose ends, but in a way, I feel nervous if I don't have them. I feel like I'm not getting things done.
Basically I am sick of my neuroses.
This blog is one such project. I've also got letters to write to people (thank you and how are you doing), a mix CD to finish, and a thorough Spring Cleaning of my room to do. And several books to read. And maybe some form of writing that isn't in a journal. And have some form of a Christian life.
I don't know. I hate having loose ends, but in a way, I feel nervous if I don't have them. I feel like I'm not getting things done.
Basically I am sick of my neuroses.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Movies
Taking inspiration from Janelle, I'm going to try to write at least three lines a day in my blog. This will probably be the majority of my entries, but whatever.
I've watched a lot of movies, mostly in the last half decade or so. This is interesting, when you think about it. The habit started in middle school, when all my friends were watching The Lord of the Rings, and I thought it was super awesome. I can't say that I haven't watched some bad movies, but dag, I watched this one movie last night and it was total Horrorshow.
Like, so unbelievably bad that I couldn't even mock it, I was just horror-stricken at how awful the characters were. And the story was bad. I keep having flashbacks and shuddering. Yeesh. At least I stopped it halfway through or so. I do not care if the main guy was super cute, totes not worth it. I cannot even remember the name of it.
Now I am watching lots of movies by Wes Anderson and watching a lot of Friends episodes with my sister. Just so you know.
I've watched a lot of movies, mostly in the last half decade or so. This is interesting, when you think about it. The habit started in middle school, when all my friends were watching The Lord of the Rings, and I thought it was super awesome. I can't say that I haven't watched some bad movies, but dag, I watched this one movie last night and it was total Horrorshow.
Like, so unbelievably bad that I couldn't even mock it, I was just horror-stricken at how awful the characters were. And the story was bad. I keep having flashbacks and shuddering. Yeesh. At least I stopped it halfway through or so. I do not care if the main guy was super cute, totes not worth it. I cannot even remember the name of it.
Now I am watching lots of movies by Wes Anderson and watching a lot of Friends episodes with my sister. Just so you know.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Soothing Winter Neuroses
I have been pleased by the snow this winter, because if it's going to be this cold and windy, it had also better be pretty. But still, I've been feeling a bit ragged. I've been victim to a seemingly never ending cold, feeling insecure about my winter ham-arms and pot-belly, and mentally taxed by college. I cannot tell you how worried it makes me feel that my success in transitioning from college to life seems to be amusing and making friends with my teachers. I am The Worst at amusing strangers! And I said more crazy things to my sister's friends because I was nervous and I never know what to say to anybody.
I was worrying these things over in my mind, sullenly tromping back to the dorm after class Friday when several of my Happy Place songs came on, I saw a quote that soothed me, took a nap, ate lunch with my mom, laughed a lot over a dumb movie, sighed happily about a cute guy with my sister, listened to a sermon at Vespers that encouraged rather than guilt-tripped me, and just felt. Better. So amazing.
Have some music!
"God doesn't call us to be extraordinary; He calls us to be faithful."
I was worrying these things over in my mind, sullenly tromping back to the dorm after class Friday when several of my Happy Place songs came on, I saw a quote that soothed me, took a nap, ate lunch with my mom, laughed a lot over a dumb movie, sighed happily about a cute guy with my sister, listened to a sermon at Vespers that encouraged rather than guilt-tripped me, and just felt. Better. So amazing.
Have some music!
"God doesn't call us to be extraordinary; He calls us to be faithful."
Sunday, February 7, 2010
A Creature of Comforting Habits
A lot of the time when I'm feeling overwhelmed or just weepy and I don't know why, I'll sit down and talk quietly to myself (in my head, not aloud). I'll say "Okay. What is the problem, and what can I do to calm myself down to solve it?" A lot of the time it isn't anything I can deal with at that moment in time, it's just a general sense of anxiety I've created by falling slightly short at a variety of probably impossible goals I'd set for myself earlier. Finish all my homework reading for the week, clean most or all of the house, finish a project, go exercise, and then go talk to some professors that you're terrified of because they're adults and you don't know them, all in one day. And then maybe you can relax. Only of course I don't finish it all, so I don't relax and just feel bad, and guilty.
I have four(ish) main moods: Fear, Guilt, Excitement, and Hope. Most of my time lately has been spent in the first two moods, and a lot of the time I can't figure out whether that would cease to be the case if I tried harder to solve my problems and self-doubts, or if I should just continue comforting myself like I do. The things I've been doing lately to comfort myself include:
1. Making lists
2. Writing out in cursive the lyrics to songs I listen to a lot (mostly Slow Club, songs from Paul Simon's "Graceland" album, and Neutral Milk Hotel's "Holland 1945")
3. Trying to perfect my Chocolate Cake in a Cup recipe
4. Reorganizing my bookshelf
5. Watching Wes Anderson's movies, especially "Rushmore," and Sofia Coppola's "Marie Antoinette." This is partly because I love beyond reason the look of those movies, with their very determined color palettes and carefully ordered sets, and partly because I for some reason suddenly have A Thing for Jason Schwartzman.
6. Reading David Sedaris, Anne Lamott, Sarah Vowell, and other essayists I love.
Number five has been especially popular, lately. I would watch those movies again with someone in a heartbeat.
I worry a lot that I am wasting time doing these things, putting off what actually be done, but I am so worn out from worrying. I don't know.
I have four(ish) main moods: Fear, Guilt, Excitement, and Hope. Most of my time lately has been spent in the first two moods, and a lot of the time I can't figure out whether that would cease to be the case if I tried harder to solve my problems and self-doubts, or if I should just continue comforting myself like I do. The things I've been doing lately to comfort myself include:
1. Making lists
2. Writing out in cursive the lyrics to songs I listen to a lot (mostly Slow Club, songs from Paul Simon's "Graceland" album, and Neutral Milk Hotel's "Holland 1945")
3. Trying to perfect my Chocolate Cake in a Cup recipe
4. Reorganizing my bookshelf
5. Watching Wes Anderson's movies, especially "Rushmore," and Sofia Coppola's "Marie Antoinette." This is partly because I love beyond reason the look of those movies, with their very determined color palettes and carefully ordered sets, and partly because I for some reason suddenly have A Thing for Jason Schwartzman.
6. Reading David Sedaris, Anne Lamott, Sarah Vowell, and other essayists I love.
Number five has been especially popular, lately. I would watch those movies again with someone in a heartbeat.
I worry a lot that I am wasting time doing these things, putting off what actually be done, but I am so worn out from worrying. I don't know.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Dear Diary
I went home to wash my laundry at my house this afternoon, like I do most Fridays, and ended up stuck here. (Maybe stuck is a bit negative sounding, but I don't mean it to be). Yes, I had heard about the forecast for a "small winter storm" or whatever, but our weathermen freak out about the smallest thing. But they were justified this time, so here I am.
I like being home, but not really at the moment, because my room and the house in general is a disaster. We got the entire inside painted and de-wallpapered, and everything's covered in a thin layer of dust. I turned on the light in my room and the click echoed, which made me uneasy. It made the place feel empty and cold, and my walls are bare. I need new furniture now, since my multicolored chest-of-drawers definitely do not fit in now.
I was putting sheets on my bed when I noticed my first diary haphazardly lying on my bookshelves. I hadn't read it in a while, so I thought I would, and it is crazy. Well, not crazy I guess, but I don't know how to explain it other than the diary of a six to ten year old girl, which is how old I was when I wrote in it. I filled it up, because I promised to when my mom bought it for me, and especially as a kid I was very big about keeping my promises. When I remembered them. I was also very intense about the whole "DIARIES HAVE TO BE PRIVATE" thing, but that was about all I was disciplined about. I've kept diaries/journals for the majority of my life, because I'd never heard rules about how they should be written, whereas I knew lots of rules about writing stories. Maybe that's why writing fiction has always made me tense. I also noticed a good number of recaps of movies I had seen. Anyway. Here's some excerpts from my ~*childhood diary*~ to amuse you. Errors uncorrected! For historical accuracy/laziness.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
July 5, '96
Dear Diary...
I love to read. And I have lots of frinds. And I love this diary.
Caitlin
P.S. I WILL MAKE SURE THAT NO ONE READS THIS DIARY EXCEPT ME.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oct. 10, '96
Dear Diary...
Happy birthday to you happy birthday to you happy birthday dear diary, happy birthday to you. And many more. Diary I'm sorry but it isn't your birthday. It's Savannah's, on of my beast frinds. It's her birthday, and Katie's birthday. But I won't be able to go to them. We are going somewhere else.
Caitlin
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jan. 24 '97
Dear Diary...
Today was the spelling bee. A lot of good things happed to me today. Like I got to go to Mac Donald's. And I got a letter from Gorgia. It said congrats Caitlin. Then I got a basket with candeys. And I did sand art.
Caitlin
P.S. I am alternate. (in the Spelling Bee) I didn't win.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sep. 17 '98
Dear Diary...
Today we went to the county fair and saw the play "Annie." I really liked "Annie" and the county fair. My mom, dad, sister, aunt, grandma, friend and I thought that the villen in the play "Annie" was halarious. She was pretty drunk.
Caitlin
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jan. 10 '99
Dear Diary...
We just watched the Swiss Family Robinson on TV. It was really good. It was about this family that got shipwreacked on an island for 182 days! CRAZY. They built a shower in their treehouse. Next Sunday, they're going to put on a movie about Martin Luther King Jr. and how he won freedom for all black people.
Caitlin
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
Mar. 8, 2000
Dear Diary...
I was just thinking. I really do like Tyler. I also just found out that I am lovesick because of him. And more thing. I wonder if he really does like Brooke, or is he just making that up? Who knows. I wish I did know. I also wonder what it's like to be really popular, like Kara. Everyone likes you, and accepts you. Boys like you. Tyler once even liked Kara as a girlfriend, and could still possibly like her!
Caitlin
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mar. 29, 2000
Dear Diary...
I found out something that I should have known before. Tyler and I have totally different interests, and as you know, I like him! It's such an inconvenience. Anyway, Amber made me a thing called a Peeper! It is a puff ball creature with hearts for feet. It is so cute!
Caitlin
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Masterpieces of prose, all.
I like being home, but not really at the moment, because my room and the house in general is a disaster. We got the entire inside painted and de-wallpapered, and everything's covered in a thin layer of dust. I turned on the light in my room and the click echoed, which made me uneasy. It made the place feel empty and cold, and my walls are bare. I need new furniture now, since my multicolored chest-of-drawers definitely do not fit in now.
I was putting sheets on my bed when I noticed my first diary haphazardly lying on my bookshelves. I hadn't read it in a while, so I thought I would, and it is crazy. Well, not crazy I guess, but I don't know how to explain it other than the diary of a six to ten year old girl, which is how old I was when I wrote in it. I filled it up, because I promised to when my mom bought it for me, and especially as a kid I was very big about keeping my promises. When I remembered them. I was also very intense about the whole "DIARIES HAVE TO BE PRIVATE" thing, but that was about all I was disciplined about. I've kept diaries/journals for the majority of my life, because I'd never heard rules about how they should be written, whereas I knew lots of rules about writing stories. Maybe that's why writing fiction has always made me tense. I also noticed a good number of recaps of movies I had seen. Anyway. Here's some excerpts from my ~*childhood diary*~ to amuse you. Errors uncorrected! For historical accuracy/laziness.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
July 5, '96
Dear Diary...
I love to read. And I have lots of frinds. And I love this diary.
Caitlin
P.S. I WILL MAKE SURE THAT NO ONE READS THIS DIARY EXCEPT ME.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oct. 10, '96
Dear Diary...
Happy birthday to you happy birthday to you happy birthday dear diary, happy birthday to you. And many more. Diary I'm sorry but it isn't your birthday. It's Savannah's, on of my beast frinds. It's her birthday, and Katie's birthday. But I won't be able to go to them. We are going somewhere else.
Caitlin
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jan. 24 '97
Dear Diary...
Today was the spelling bee. A lot of good things happed to me today. Like I got to go to Mac Donald's. And I got a letter from Gorgia. It said congrats Caitlin. Then I got a basket with candeys. And I did sand art.
Caitlin
P.S. I am alternate. (in the Spelling Bee) I didn't win.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sep. 17 '98
Dear Diary...
Today we went to the county fair and saw the play "Annie." I really liked "Annie" and the county fair. My mom, dad, sister, aunt, grandma, friend and I thought that the villen in the play "Annie" was halarious. She was pretty drunk.
Caitlin
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jan. 10 '99
Dear Diary...
We just watched the Swiss Family Robinson on TV. It was really good. It was about this family that got shipwreacked on an island for 182 days! CRAZY. They built a shower in their treehouse. Next Sunday, they're going to put on a movie about Martin Luther King Jr. and how he won freedom for all black people.
Caitlin
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
Mar. 8, 2000
Dear Diary...
I was just thinking. I really do like Tyler. I also just found out that I am lovesick because of him. And more thing. I wonder if he really does like Brooke, or is he just making that up? Who knows. I wish I did know. I also wonder what it's like to be really popular, like Kara. Everyone likes you, and accepts you. Boys like you. Tyler once even liked Kara as a girlfriend, and could still possibly like her!
Caitlin
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mar. 29, 2000
Dear Diary...
I found out something that I should have known before. Tyler and I have totally different interests, and as you know, I like him! It's such an inconvenience. Anyway, Amber made me a thing called a Peeper! It is a puff ball creature with hearts for feet. It is so cute!
Caitlin
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Masterpieces of prose, all.
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