One morning when I was about 13 or 14 years old, my dad was driving me to school and I was terrified. It was my first day in a new school and I had just been told that I was supposed to get a shot at the pediatrician's that afternoon. So already it was pretty much guaranteed not to be that fun of a day. And as I sat rigidly in my desk at school and tried to keep my nervous stomach under control, I thought "Man, life will be so much better and funner and easier when I am like, 20 something, and I'm not afraid of trivial things like shots and I have the boldness gained from ~*life experience*~ to be friends with tons of people."
I have become less afraid of shots. Well, I can avoid bursting into tears against my will at the sight of a needle like I used to, anyway. But I have grown more afraid of life, I think. My future has never seemed more uncertain, and if there is one thing I cannot stand it is uncertainty. I do not even enjoy vacations if I don't know what to expect. How am I supposed to prepare for uncertainty?
I think this is one of those times in my life where I'm slowly, slowly, slowly building steam, and will eventually gather up enough speed to feel like I'm doing something. I'm in some sort of unpleasant valley right now, but I hope things will get better, even if I do achieve my worst fear: failure. Because failing doesn't mean my lifewill end!
I am 20 years old and in college. I am an non-teaching English major with a very small number of friends I feel comfortable hanging out with for reasonable periods of time. I never have any adventures or do anything unexpected.
But maybe, hopefully, this will change.
I love the way you write. Also, you have adventures; you just have to start seeing them that way. I dub this post, "the adventure of the pediatrician's office". 'Nuff said.
ReplyDeleteYou have adventures! We did stuff on midterm break; to me, that was an adventure, and I had fun!
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